…can only make me stronger?

Kanye West’s “Stronger” is one of my regulars when I run. Lately, my mind returns to these lyrics more than when I’m running. I’ve felt overwhelmed; and I KNOW my “problems” are nothing compared to many people’s, and that makes me feel more guilty to even be feeling overwhelmed and defeated at all. But, if I’m being honest, that’s how I’ve felt.

About the time I finished the Biggest Loser 30 Day Jump Start program, my mom had her first hip replacement…yes, this was planned, but I didn’t realize how much of a toll it would take on me. Since moving here, aside from my immediate family, mom has been my biggest support system and friend, as well as my childcare when I work at my job outside of the home. I’ve felt lost without her but have also assumed the role of a helper for her (because I want to be there for her like she’s there for me). At the same time, my husband started to feel sick and kept to himself as not to “infect” the rest of us. On Mother’s Day, after almost 2 weeks of feeling bad, he finally went to Urgent Care where he got on antibiotics for severe double ear infections and a sinus infection. A week later, he is finally starting to feel more like himself. Also, on Mother’s Day, during an innocent game of Hide n’ Seek with his brother, Dax climbed a fence at my parents and filleted open his leg on a sharp screw. I was at my parents without Craig, who was feeling too sick to be with anyone. Thankfully, my dad was able to stand in and get the other boys home and ready for bed. Dax ended up with 7 stitches at the ER.

The last 3 weeks have been a whirlwind! I’ve been stretched emotionally, mentally, and financially (darn unexpected medical expenses)! My plan was to go straight on to The Biggest Loser 6 Weeks to a Healthier You program, but it just didn’t happen as soon as I wanted it to; not to mention Craig hasn’t been able to eat normally until recently.

If I look at the victories of the last 3 weeks, aside from the obvious of holding down the fort, I have managed to maintain my 12 pound weight loss and I have not missed a day of my half-marathon training program, including my 5 mile Mother’s Day run and a memorable 30 minute run with a bloody nose! I am now on my 4th day of the Biggest Loser program and feel proud of myself for hopping back on the “bandwagon” so quickly…historically, something like this would have been the end for me. Thank you Jessy for being my at a distance shoulder to cry on…I am so blessed to have you as a friend…you never judge me and always know exactly what to say and when to say it. And Jessica, thanks for being such an inspiration in your own journey and for encouraging me not to give up even though things are tough!

~Rebecca